Reading List Suggestions

Surviving the First Hours and Beyond. This classic book is one of the first given to newly bereaved parents to offer guidance in decision-making after their baby's death and to assist caregivers as they support families. Empty Arms encourages families to meet their babies and say hello before rushing to say goodbye.

Empty Arms: Coping With Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death
by Sherokee Ilke
Please Be Patient, I'm Grieving
by Gary Roe
Permission To Mourn
by Tom Zuba
Child Loss- The Heartbreak and the Hope
by Clara Hinton
The Truth About Butterflies
by Nancy Stephan
Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby
by Deborah L. Davis
Beyond Tears: Living After Losing A Child
by Ellen Mitchell

Meant to comfort and give direction to bereaved parents, Beyond Tears is written by nine mothers who have each lost a child. Because each of these mothers lost her child at least seven years ago, she is in a unique position to provide perspective on what newly bereaved parents can expect to feel. The mothers of Beyond Tears offer reassurance that the clouds of grief do lessen with time and that grieving parents will find a way to live, and even laugh again.

The death of someone we love cracks us open inviting us to become the person we were born to be. This is the book Tom Zuba wishes he had read after his daughter Erin died. And after his wife Trici died. It's the book he wishes he'd been handed following his son Rory's death. But Tom had to live it. First. Before he could write it. For you. In the beginning, Tom did grief the old way. Repressing, denying, pretending, numbing and stuffing every feeling and every emotion that arose. He created pain on top of pain until he began searching for a new way. A new way to do grief.

Loss hurts. It’s tough to go through, and painful to watch. Do you know someone who’s grieving and wish you could help?
Are you the one grieving and wonder if what you’re going through is normal? Do you wish those around you understood you better? This practical and easy-to-read book provides the answers you need to make a difference - in your own life and in the lives of others.

Deborah Davis encourages grieving and strives to cover many different kinds of loss, including information on issues such as the death of one or more babies from a multiple birth, pregnancy interruption, and the questioning of aggressive medical intervention. There is also a special chapter for fathers as well as a chapter on "protective parenting" to help anxious parents enjoy their precious living children.

After the death of her daughter, and quickly losing her own battle with grief, Nancy moves from the house she can no longer bear to live in. While packing, she finds a box in the attic. Inside she uncovers treasures she didn't know existed and evidence that her and her daughter's lives had been more divinely entwined than she could've imagined. The Truth About Butterflies is a factual memoir on grief, hope, and transformation, and a single enduring truth: Life cannot be restrained by death.

There are many good books on grief and loss. Below are chosen just a few that touch on various relevant topics, including Dads and grief, spirituality, children and loss, extended family and friends, and subsequent pregnancies.

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Tear Soup: A Recipe For Healing After Loss
by Pat Schwiebert and Chuck  DeKlyen
Goodnight, Not Goodbye: A Mother's Search For Hope After Sudden Child Loss
by Laura Sateriale
Shattered: Surviving the Loss of A Child
by Gary Roe
Signs From The Afterlife: Identifying Gifts From The Other Side
by Lyn Ragan
Grieving Parents: Surviving Loss As A Couple
by Nathalie Himmelrich
Heaven Is For Real
by Todd Burpo

This book was born from a heart that has been broken by the loss of two of Clara Hinton's sons. It is her belief that hearts broken by the loss of a child will always have a void, and there will forever be a longing ache for the child that is no longer here. But, we can and must learn to live in our brokenness. Deep within our hearts are seeds of hope. When we nurture those seeds we will learn how to see life with eyes of love once again.

When Laura Sateriale discovered that her thriving, healthy daughter had passed away in her sleep, her worst nightmare became a painful reality. In the dark hours and days ahead, survival seemed impossible. Goodnight, Not Goodbye is a raw, emotional testament to a mother's love, and an honest account of SIDS / SUDC loss. Over the course of five years, Laura shares how she learned to cope with grief and the new normal she faced with her family.

"Losing the younger of our identical twin girls on the third day of her life totally shocked us. We had barely grown used to the identity of being 'first time parents' before we also donned the title of 'bereaved parents.' But there was more to come..."

The loss of a child affects the whole family, especially the parents and their relationship. The journey of grief has no set timeline or steps, but unfolds as each person travels in their very own way.

From the Other Side, Signs are used by Loved Ones to connect with their family and friends on this earthly plane. Oftentimes, the gifts they share are difficult to identify. Mastering a new language is hard work, but learning to speak the Language of Spirit is more difficult. This book is an ABC's narrative for identifying signs, messages, and signals from the Afterworld. It shares a simple way to look for, and read, communications from the hereafter.

If you are going to buy only one book on grief, this is the one to get! It will validate your grief experience, and you can share it with your children. You can leave it on the coffee table so others will pick it up, read it, and then better appreciate your grieving time. Grand's Cooking Tips section at the back of the book is rich with wisdom and concrete recommendations. Better than a casserole!

A young boy emerges from life-saving surgery with remarkable stories of his visit to heaven. Heaven Is for Real is the true story of the four-year old son of a small town Nebraska pastor who during emergency surgery slips from consciousness and enters heaven. He survives and begins talking about being able to look down and see the doctor operating and his dad praying in the waiting room. The family didn't know what to believe but soon the evidence was clear.

Messages From Heaven
by Collette Sinclaire
It's OK That You're Not OK
by Megan Devine
Love, Mom: A Mother's Journey From Loss to Hope
by Cynthia Baseman
Not Broken: An Approachable Guide To Miscarriage and Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
by Lora Shahine
Surviving The Holidays Without You
by Gary Roe

Collette Sinclaire has spent the last 7 years speaking with the souls of those who have passed on into the afterlife. These are real accounts of everyday people just like you and me, as well as those who had led lives which seem unimaginable and unbearable.

When you're grieving, it helps to read stories from other people who have been through the same thing. Losing a family member or dear friend is a shared human experience. You'll find comfort, inspiration and camraderie in these revealing personal stories from other people who have lost loved ones.

When a painful loss or life-shattering event upends your world, here is the first thing to know: there is nothing wrong with grief. “Grief is simply love in its most wild and painful form,” says Megan Devine. “It is a natural and sane response to loss.” She debunks the goal of returning to a normal, “happy” life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. 

After Cynthia Baseman delivered a stillborn daughter in 1995, she embarked on a journey of healing and a search to find happiness and meaning in life again. Writing letters to her daughter and drawing strength from the natural world became the basis of her recovery and a tool to manage the strain on her marriage. In Love, Mom she shares what happened to her and offers hope to those that find themselves grieving for a loved one.

Not Broken is a comprehensive, evidence-based but easy-to-read guide for anyone who wants to understand all aspects of miscarriage and recurrent pregnancy loss.  Dr. Shahine explains not only a typical Western medicine approach to evaluation and treatment for miscarriage but also includes Eastern approaches to care, lifestyle factors that will decrease your risk of miscarriage, and the emotional impact of recurrent pregnancy loss.

Speaking from both personal and professional grief experiences, Gary Roe will empower you to navigate special days and seasons with new confidence. Finding your way to grieve well over the holidays can be overwhelming without a trusted guide. Gary knows your pain and will walk beside you, offering effective tools to help you face the holidays with hope rather than apprehension. 

Bestselling author, hospice chaplain, and grief specialist Gary Roe uses his three decades of experience interacting with grieving parents to give us this heartfelt, easy-to-read, and intensely practical book. In Shattered, Roe walks the reader through the powerful impact a child's death can have - emotionally, mentally, physically, relationally, and spiritually.

Knowing what to say—and not to say—when someone is grieving • Understanding when to talk and when to simply listen • Relating kindly to ourselves • Recognizing that everyone has a story • Dealing with compassion fatigue • Acknowledging instead of “fixing” others with our responses. Thisis an invaluable guide for how to shift our mindset, diminish hurtful viewpoints, and embrace the humanity in each of us. 

A collection of candid stories from grieving dads that were interviewed over a two year period. The book offers insight from fellow members of, in the haunting words of one dad, “this terrible, terrible club,” which consists of men who have experienced the death of a child. This book is a collection of survival stories by men who have survived the worst possible loss and lived to tell the tale.

Trying Again lessens the uncertainties about pregnancy after miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss by providing the facts to help you determine if you and your partner are emotionally ready for another pregnancy. It also imparts essential advice about preparing and planning for another baby when you decide the time is right.

This pocket sized book is for men who experience the death of their infant child -- whether it be miscarriage, stillbirth or early infant death. Meant to be a guide during the early hours and days after finding out the news of their baby's death, the book offers suggestions for communicating with medical caregivers, offering support to their partner, telling the news to other children, making funeral arrangements and taking care of themselves in a time of crisis.

A book especially for fathers, this is a collection of insights, helpful hints and tender thoughts to give a father strength during the dark times of grief following his baby s death. For too long fathers have been the forgotten grievers. By giving him this special book you tell him you also recognize his loss.

Forgotten Tears, written by a bereaved grandmother, portrays the unique grief journey of grandparents. It reviews the traditional stages and theories of grief, and contains quotes from leading grief authorities as well as personal accounts from bereaved grandparents.

Forgotten Tears: A Grandmother's Journey Through Grief
by Nina Bennett
A Guide For Fathers When A Baby Dies
by Tim Nelson
Strong and Tender
by Pat Schwiebert
Grieving Dads: To The Brink and Back
by Kelly Farley with David Dicola
The Compassion Code: How To Say The Right Thing When The Wrong Thing Happens
by Laura S. Jack
Chicken Soup For the Grieving Soul
by Jack Canfield
Michael Rosen's Sad Book
by Michael Rosen
Teen Grief:Caring for the Grieving Teenage Heart
by Gary Roe
Mommy, Please Don't Cry: There Are No Tears In Heaven
by Linda Deymaz
Pregnancy After A Loss
by Carol Cerulli Lanham
Trying Again: A Guide to Pregnancy After Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Loss
by Ann Douglas and John R. Sussman
A Gift of Time: Continuing Your Pregnancy When You Know Your Baby's Life Is Expected to be Brief
by Amy Kuebelbeck and Deborah L. Davis
From Father to Father: Letters From Loss Dad to Loss Dad
by Emily R. Long
Invisible Mothers: When Love Doesn't Die
by Emily R. Long

Award-winning author and grief counselor Gary Roe wrote Teen Grief at the request of parents, teachers, coaches, and school counselors. Born of personal experience and more than three decades of interacting with grieving teens, this informative, practical handbook is replete with guidance, insight, and ideas for helping teens navigate the turbulent waters of loss. Though Teen Grief primarily focuses on losses due to death, the principles discussed can be applied to any loss a teen might be experiencing.

This book is a simple book of letters written for you, a grieving loss dad, from other loss dads who are living and surviving after the death of their precious child. In the pages of this book, fathers from around the world share letters of love from their hearts to yours with the hope that, maybe, in the darkest, loneliest hours of grief, you will find a little bit of comfort in the words of another father who has been where you are now.

Invisible Mothers gives voice to the experience of love and loss for mothers whose babies have died during pregnancy or infancy. It chronicles the journey of mothers without any living children who must learn to continue living while grieving. Their arms are empty, but their hearts are filled with a love that does not die. Invisible Mothers shines a light into the unimaginable loss and sorrow as well as the courageous love of these amazing unseen mothers.

book of love and comfort for mothers who have experienced the deep sorrow of losing a child. Serene illustrations frame gentle words that describe heaven from a child's perspective. With room for the reader's personal reflections at the end of the book, every page is a poignant gift of hope and healing. "Our stories are all different, but our pain is the same," writes Linda.

A gentle and practical guide for parents who decide to continue their pregnancy knowing that their baby's life will be brief, walks them step-by-step through this challenging and emotional experience―from the infant's life-limiting prenatal diagnosis and the decision to have the baby to coping with the pregnancy and making plans for the baby’s birth and death. 

For a woman who has experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth, or the death of an infant, conceiving another child can be fraught with mixed emotions. This guide, filled with up-to-date medical information and written by a woman who herself experienced a successful pregnancy after the loss of her first baby, can help women cope with their anxiety.

With this compassionate book by respected grief counselor and educator Dr. Alan Wolfelt, readers will find simplified and suitable methods for talking to children and teenagers about sensitive topics with an emphasis on the subject of death. Honest but child-appropriate language is advocated, and various wording and levels of explanation are suggested for different ages when discussing topics such as death in general, suicide, homicide, accidental death, the death of a child, terminal illness, pet death, funerals, and cremation.

In this compassionate guide, you’ll discover how your mind can affect the way you feel physically, and discover body-oriented skills to help your body heal after experiencing loss. You’ll also find ways to relieve feelings of anxiety and confusion that can make your physical symptoms worse, and finally begin the healing process. Knowing how your body is affected by grief and loss—and what you can do to relieve the physical and emotional pain—will give you healthy coping skills to last a lifetime. This book will help you learn these skills and start feeling better in both body and mind.

Sad things happen to everyone, and sometimes people feel sad for no reason at all. What makes Michael Rosen sad is thinking about his son, Eddie, who died suddenly at the age of eighteen. In this book the author writes about his sadness, how it affects him, and some of the things he does to cope with it—like telling himself that everyone has sad stuff (not just him) and trying every day to do something he can be proud of.

Selections To Help
Teens and Children

First published in 1988, Someone I Love Died has long comforted the hearts of children 4 to 8 who have lost someone close. It gently leads children through grief with age-appropriate words and solid biblical truth that understands a child's hurting heart. The added interactive resources ensure this book will become a treasured keepsake. Once complete, children create a memory book of the loved one's life. And it offers grown-ups a tool that turns what could be a difficult season into a meaningful time of healing.

A book for the child who comes after the one who died, it s a perfect gift just for them. It explains in a gentle way the parents desire for a child and the sadness that comes over them when that baby dies. It then shares how the parents, with the help of the baby, get to the point of wanting another child to come into their lives. The illustrator, Taylor Bills, who has an extraordinary gift of capturing feelings in his drawings that tell the story beyond words. Includes suggestions about keeping your baby's memory alive.

A new book from the author of "When Hello Means Goodbye." Created especially for children who are suffering the loss of their families pregnancy.

A Rainbow Baby Story - The Rainbow After The Storm is a book for young children, ages 2 to 6 years old that helps parents open the lines of communication explaining the loss of a sibling through miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss in a way that children can understand. What is a Rainbow Baby?

A story of hope and promise. Using the dragonfly's secret, a grandmother helps her grandson understand how they will always be together. A touching and universal story that speaks to all ages and every member of the family.

The book addresses the sadness that a child experiences when the anticipated baby has died. The child's fears and feelings of guilt are addressed as well as other confusing feelings. Perhaps most important, the book includes the family's experience of going on with life while always remembering their baby. The child reading the book is left with a sense of reassurance that life continues and he is still a vital part of a loving family.

Colton Burpo came back from his trip to heaven with a very important message: Jesus really, really loves children. In an effort to reach even more families with this eternally significant story, this runaway bestseller is now told from Colton―kid to kids! Beautifully illustrated under Colton's direction, he shares his experiences in first person and comments on things that will be important to kids.

Thousands of children each year experience the death of a loved one before they reach the age of 18, and some 10 to 15 percent of them experience mental health problems, such as depression, as a result. One study found that childhood grief is correlated with low grades, sleep problems, moodiness, behavior problems, and an inability to concentrate. When a loved one dies, children are faced with a kaleidoscope of feelings, thoughts, myths, and questions. This workbook offers tools that you can use to help a grieving child in your life deal with these feelings.

Grief Work Diary For Bereaved Children Grief Work Journals are a recommended coping tool for exploring grief and the emotions behind it. This 3 month Deluxe Grief Work Journal features: - Daily Mood Tracker - Daily Entry Area - Thought Provoking Questions - Illustration Areas

A workbook for children and teens who have experienced the death of someone whom they love and who is important to them, helps a grieving child begin to process the loss of anyone who was important to them, as well as guide adults as to how to begin a dialogue about loss and grief with a grieving child. 

We Were Gonna Have A Baby, But
We Had An Angel Instead
by Pat Schwiebert
A Rainbow Baby Story
by Crystal Falk and Kim Roman
Love Is Forever
by Casey Rislov
Something Happened
by Cathy Blanford
Someone Came Before You
by Pat Schwiebert
The Secret of the Dragonfly
by Gail Shaw-Cramer

Best-selling author Robert Munsch's poignant story is about a little girl and how she begins to heal after the loss of her grandfather.

Losing a loved one is hard for anyone, especially a child who might be experiencing loss for the first time. This book gives caregivers and children a beautiful way to begin talking about loss and grief, and how to keep loved ones close in heart and mind through shared memories.

"I'm scared I'll forget you..." From the perspective of a young child, Joanna Rowland artfully describes what it is like to remember and grieve a loved one who has died. The child in the story creates a memory box to keep mementos and written memories of the loved one, to help in the grieving process. Heartfelt and comforting, The Memory Box will help children and adults talk about this very difficult topic together.

Grief Recovery For Teens
by Coral Popowitz
Finding The Words
by Alan D. Wolfelt
Why Did You Die
by Erica Leeuwenburgh
Lighthouse: A Story of Remembrance
by Robert Munsch
Heaven Is For Real For Kids
by Todd Burpo
Kid's Grief Journal: Grief Work Diary for Bereaved Children
by Collette Sinclaire
The Memory Box: A Book About Grief
by Joanna Rowland
Someone I Love Died
by Christine Harder Tangvald
My Heart Hurts: A Grief Workbook For Children
by Karen Jagger